Today, I’m going to go up to my new school and find all my classes so that I’m not completely freaking out the first week. I’m going with an old friend who will also be going to IUPUI.
I’ve decided that today I am not going to talk to him unless he says something first. I realize that he’s not going to miss me unless I leave him alone. So, I have resolved to finally give him a break. It’s just really difficult when he was my everything for three years.
There were times when I felt so guilty because I put him before God. He meant and still means so much to me. I can’t imagine not having him in my life and I’m so afraid that if I leave him alone, he’ll never come back. I keep asking God why this is happening and I haven’t heard His reply. I haven’t heard God in so long. Maybe this is why. Maybe God is suppressing our relationship because we need to take a break and focus on Him. I have to hope that God will work this out in the end. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have a relationship with God. I feel like we were put into each other’s lives for a reason and that we’ve just lost sight of what is truly important. After all, the Bible does say that He is a jealous God. I need help figuring out where to start. I wish I had money. I need a new devotional.
